Working through a disagreement
Name the problem, listen to both needs, and agree on a next step.
Skill 6.2 · About 25 minutes to begin
Two people can both care about the crew and still disagree about how to run it. The goal is to solve the problem while keeping each person's dignity intact.
Before you begin
Bring along
- Fictional scenario cards
- Practice partner
Support & boundaries
Use fictional situations and choose what you share. You may pass or speak privately with a trusted adult. Unsafe behavior or a serious concern needs adult support.
01 / Learn
Understand the skill
- Describe a specific action rather than labeling someone's character.
- A compromise is not appropriate when it would violate safety, consent, or a person's boundaries.
- Threats, harassment, or an unsafe power imbalance need trusted-adult support rather than peer mediation.
Explore the idea
A conversation you can practice
Name the specific situation and what you need, without attacking the other person's character.
02 / Practice
Try it, step by step
- 1
Choose a fictional disagreement, such as two people wanting the same cooking role. Wait until both can talk calmly.
- 2
Say what happened, how it affected the task, and what you need: When the jobs changed without telling me, I could not prepare. I need a clear plan.
- 3
Invite the other person to explain. Summarize their view before responding.
- 4
List two workable options. For example, split preparation and cooking today, or rotate roles at the next meal.
- 5
Agree who will do what and when to check back. Ask a leader for help if you cannot find a respectful solution.
- 6
Review whether the agreement worked. If you caused harm, acknowledge it and make a specific repair.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Let the loudest person decide.
- Treating a successful practice attempt as permission to skip the supervision or checks for a real task.
Your call
Both people want to cook. What helps first?
03 / Demonstrate
Show what you can do
Use these prompts with a mentor. This practice checklist resets when you leave; record your overall stage below in the signed-in manual.
0 of 4 reviewed together
Mentor notes & sources
Help someone learn
- Coach the conversation without choosing a winner immediately.
- Use fictional situations and allow participants to pass; never require public personal disclosures.
Start together, then let the learner take responsibility at an appropriate level. Offer a shorter task, a different role, or more practice time when useful. Review the demonstration criteria together; advanced practice never removes supervision requirements.
Reference shelf
Original program lessons informed by these references. Equipment manuals, current local rules, and qualified instruction govern technical practice.
- Search Institute: developmental relationships ↗
Care, support, challenge and youth agency
Edition updated 2026-09-28. Program learning material; not a professional qualification.
04 / Apply · In Action
Two people, one cooking role
Role-play a disagreement over who will cook. State both needs, explore options, and agree on roles and a check-in.
What success looks like
Your partner can describe the plan without feeling insulted or pressured.
Talk it through
What helped you move from defending yourself to solving the problem?
05 / Teach · Take it further
Coach a fictional disagreement while leaving the decision with the participants.